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a) No, if you have tried your best but failed. b) Put as much moral pressure on her as you can. But if she persists in her behaviour, you are not to be blamed. However, make sure that the children are brought up as practising Muslims.
Read again the relevant chapter of my book, "Family Life of Islam" (https://wofis.com/book/108-The%20Family%20Life%20of%20Islam), and you will find that she is not to be obeyed in matters of religion and Shari'ah; but even then the children should show her respect in other matters. However, she has no right at all concerning their custody and bringing up.
Kafir does not inherit a Muslim. Moreover, brother or sister is not entitled to inheritance if the deceased has left father, and/or mother, and/ or a son and/or a daughter.

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